The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
America, Meet Your Newest Resident "Expert" Sarah Barracuda Palin!
Well, well look who just went out and earned herself a little expert title while we weren't looking. None other than ice princess Sarah Palin, governor of America's resource-rich Russian watchdog, the great state of Alaska!
So you can imagine how delighted House Republican Whip Eric Cantor was to welcome Miss Palin as the newest shining member of the National Council for a New America's esteemed panel of experts.
An illustrious mix of rising Republican stars, leaders, and longtime GOP movers and shakers committed to solving problems with the "common-sense conservative solutions" Americans need and want. Even if they don't know it. Or vote for it.
Yes, this "who's who" list includes such notables GOP heavyweights as:
Governor Haley "Fat Man From Mississippi" Barbour Governor Jeb "But, I'm Not W" Bush Governor Bobby "Volcano Monitoring Is For Jerks" Jindal Senator John "Meghan Is My Daughter" McCain Governor Mitt "Mormons Are Sexy, Too" Romney
Throw in Alaskan superstar Sarah "Africa Is A Country" Palin and you my friends have a panel of experts ready to welcome Americans from all walks of life to join in the important discussion on how to keep America great by desperately clinging on to tired half-truths, baseless fears, and long-held prejudices.
Together, the National Council for a New America can fight this evil disease called progress and restore America's rightful place as the most awesome, freedom-loving, terrorist-torturing, CO2-polluting environmental disaster the world has ever seen!