After All This Time, Dick's Still Hard-On Iran

Human defect Dick Cheney continued his increasingly bizarre whirlwind tour across America, bringing his unique brand of doom to select cities around the country.

Most recently, Dick took his new role as the world's creepiest chatterbox to New York City, so he could watch his sexually confused (aka lesbian) daughter Elizabeth make him proud by spewing the same insane, apocalyptic nonsense as her carefree papa during a heated policy debate on Iran.

But it's not like Dick just watched casually from the sidelines, happy to let daughter Lizzy have her moment to shine instead. No sir-ee.

Not when the matter at hand is a danger as grave as Iran. This is war, people. And the sooner you start understanding that, the better!

You see, Dick (and the whole Cheney clan for that matter) knows the threats we face in today's post 9/11 reality are nothing to sneer at (even if he can't help it). But unfortunately those pansy Europeans don't understand that "negotiating" and "diplomacy" are for pussies, and the only thing stopping the imminent Iranian nuclear holocaust is the mighty red, white, and blue opening up another can of "shock and awe" whoop-ass.

"We fail to recognize the fact that we're alone out there in terms of trying to achieve the objective of forcing the Iranians to give up their nuclear weapons. Everybody's in a giant conspiracy to achieve a different objective than the one we want to achieve."

That's right. In Dick's world, France, Germany and especially the United Kingdom are not only willing to live with a nuclear-armed Iran, they are conspiring with that Iranian devil "to stall for time" and "restrain the U.S. from military action."

And don't even get Dick started about negotiations being bound to fail unless we are perceived as "very credible in threatening military action against Iran."

Don't you people get it?

Unless we're seen as a locked 'n loaded maniac with a hair trigger temper ready and willing to bomb the bejesus out of anyone who dares cross our path, there will never be peace and security in the world.