Wednesday, July 1, 2009
He's Good Enough, He's Smart Enough And Doggone It, More People Like Him
OMG, we've waited and waited and finally our prayers have been answered--homosexual self-help guru Stuart Smalley is officially headed to the U.S. Senate!
Eight months, a couple of recounts, and countless court fights after the epic battle between SNL comedian turned godless Democrat Al Franken and hippie stoner turned lame Republican Norm Coleman first began, the Minnesota Supreme Court ended it with one swift stroke of the gavel, unanimously awarding the grand prize of being Minnesota's second senator to Mr. Hollywood Al Franken!
But, unlike previous court rulings that allowed Norm Coleman to keep his Ann Coulter-thin chances of winning alive, the Minnesota Supreme Court's rejection of each of Coleman's five legal arguments meant the end of Norm's sore-loser crusade, forcing him to concede. And reluctantly hand over America's puritan heart to terrorist leader Barack Obama and his 60-strong Democratic supermajority of sinners.
But the fun's just starting kids! Because Franken isn't just the missing piece in the Dem's power puzzle, he's everything the Republicans love to hate. A certified celebrity elitist who went to Harvard (gasp!) and isn't afraid to don a diaper and bunny ears, talk with a lisp, and call himself a man, is still able to unseat the GOP incumbent on his first run for public office. A fellow Jew but nonetheless...