Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Forget Russia, Sarah Palin Can Sue Sweden From Her Backyard!

Sarah Palin knows she has what it takes to be President of the bestest, most God blessed, freedom-lovingest country in the whole wide world, the United States of Jesus Christ's America, because unlike that no-good NObama, she knows how to sue evil, arugula-eating lamestream media blogs who leak her sensitive documents all over the Internets.

It's true!

I mean why can't the U.S. military simply stop every single one of its strictly heterosexual soldiers, like say, Palin's other oddly named non-special needs son Track, from leaking sensitive, classified documents to Wikileaks the way Sarah singlehandedly stopped the website Gawker from publishing unauthorized excerpts of her newest ghostwritten book ode to herself, America By Heart??

Probably because Sarah Palin is not currently commander-in-chief, duh! All you have to do is repeat on a respectable news site the same logic she attempted on Twitter, and viola! it almost makes sense:
Sarah Palin was able to get a federal judge this month to stop a website from publishing unauthorized excerpts of her book. Now, she wants to know why the White House couldn’t put the breaks on Sunday’s WikiLeaks document dump, Politico writes.
Hear that people? Sarah Palin's Twitter Account would like to know why exactly NObama's White House couldn't stop WikiLeaks release of 250,000 documents when she, Snow Goddess of Wasilla, was easily able to get a federal judge to stop Gawker from publishing terrible, embarrassingly written excerpts from her book several days before its release, with little more than a wink, growl and millions of dollars in legal fees.
“Inexplicable: I recently won in court to stop my book ‘America by Heart’ from being leaked," she tweeted, "but US Govt can't stop Wikileaks' treasonous act?”
By "stop" Sarah, of course, means "drop a predator drone missile on."

What is even more inexplicable, however, is that Constitutional scholar Sarah Palin doesn't seem to understand that while America may be her (and Jesus') favoritest country in the whole world who can smart bomb all the evil Muslims it wants anytime, anyplace, anywhere, sadly, its wonderful system of laws (including treason, the only crime defined in the Constitution) does not apply to other sovereign nations like Sweden, where the founder of WikiLeaks is located, because a foreigner cannot commit treason against the United States. That's reserved for citizens, and whatever Joe Lieberman is considered, only.


Oh and also, Sar, in America we have this little thing known as the “Freedom of the Press” which includes the right to be free from prior restraints aka oppressive censorship or stopping publications and communications before they even have a chance to reach the public.

So there you have it Sarah...that's why the black man can't do anything about this right now.

Inexplicable: Obama managed to have his Portuguese water dog Bo neutered, but SarahPalinUSA can't keep her dumb clan of grizzly cubs from spawning all over the place??

Please, please, dear God, let this woman become President so she can be in charge of all pointless wars everywhere, sue the dickens out of evil blogs like Gawker for freedom, and run our government the way it it is supposed to be run:

In 140-special-needs-characters or less. On Twitter...from her snow-covered back porch in the middle of the frozen Arctic tundra.

Oh, you betcha!

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