Nerd Prom, Round Two

Joker-in-Chief Barack Obama knows a little something about catching flies--and wooing large, celebrity-speckled crowds of journalists, politicians and other VIP-types at the 65th annual Radio and Television Correspondents' Association Dinner. Not to be confused with last month's Nerd Prom aka the White House Correspondents' Dinner, where our favorite MC was equally charming.

So, once again Barry dons a tux and dazzles the crowd with some topical humor and a few, well-placed zingers--especially ones aimed at the audience. They go crazy for that sort of thing!

Like saying he'd rather be here with all the fine radio and TV folk than at last month's high-profile, hoity-toity White House Correspondents Dinner, the "Cadillac of the Correspondents' Dinners."

"I want to express my appreciation for the opportunity to tell jokes that weren't funny enough for me to use when we did this five weeks ago. The jokes may not be as good, but neither is the guest list. For me, there's no contest. Why bother hanging out with celebrities when I can spend time with the people who made me one?"

HAHAHAHA!!! Get it?? That Barry is killer!

"As you know, we've been working around the clock on to repair our major financial institutions and our auto companies. But you probably wouldn't understand the concept of troubled industries, working as you do in radio and television."

Nuh-uh, he didn't.

Speaking of troubled systems, no comedic performance would be complete without a swipe at the nation's healthcare debate.

"I'm pleased that in our quest to reform the health care system, I have gained the support of the American Medical Association. It proves true the old expression that it's easier to catch flies with honey. And if honey doesn't work, feel free to use an open palm and a swift, downward wrist motion."

Wonder if that works on Republicans too.

Obama Takes Break From Murdering Flies To Make Gays Feel Like Real Citizens

Liberal hippie Barack Obama has promised to do a lot of things, namely fix the economy, healthcare, Iraq, Afghanistan, and basically everything else Georgey managed to screw up completely. He also promised the gays he'd try to help make them first-class citizens, but excuuuuse him if his plate's been a little full!

So, with the pace of a sloth dipped in molasses, President Barack Obama signed a memorandum extending some federal benefits to same-sex partners of federal workers. Of course, the measure doesn't cover healthcare and retirement benefits, two of the things no one ever thinks about when they think about "employment benefits." Perhaps they'll get a discount on Nationals tickets or Lincoln Memorial tours instead?

As he signed the historic legislation into law, Obama said, "Extending equal benefits to the same-sex partners of Federal employees is the right thing to do," although he did note that by law, the government cannot grant gay couples the same range of benefits afforded to heterosexual couples. Sorry, gays, better luck next time.

Obama also reiterated his opposition to the Defense of Marriage Act, saying, "It's discriminatory, it interferes with States' rights, and it's time we overturned it."

But if you'll excuse him, he has a few flies to kill first.