The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Blago Freak-Show Express To Derail At Senate Trial After All!
In case you haven't gotten enough of insane governor Rod Blagojevich's awkward road tour across America, fear not, because the freak-show express has come back home.
Yes, Illinois' own hero governor returns to bravely face lawmakers on the last of his three-day impeachment trial to deliver his closing remarks in a stunning senate showdown.
A surprising departure from the governor's previous winning strategy of boycotting the hearings to get noogied by Joy Behar on The View and act like a potty-mouthed buffoon for 48 consecutive hours on primetime TV.
But, of course, the move comes with certain Blago conditions. The conditions only an innocent person with nothing to hide would demand.
Like asking for 90-minutes to explain why it is all a big misunderstanding and he never tried to do any of the things he explicitly outlined in the hours and hours of wire-tapped evidence played while he was humbly pleading his case to the people's court.
Aside from his closing statement, Mr. Rod Blagojevich will not of course dignify this three-ring circus you call an "impeachment trial" by answering any questions from lawmakers or anyone else. Capeesh?
Good. Then stop bustin' my balls and let's get this f**king thing movin' already. I got little time and lots of famous people to quote. Maestro, please!
Knock, Knock. Who's There? Possible Charges For Patti, Too?!