Breaking News: White House Appeals Don't Ask, Don't Tell Because Who Needs Hope & Change When You Can Have Fear & Injustice Instead?

ANSWER: NONE OF THE ABOVE!

Gay soldiers don't die, silly, they simply deny!

This just in: President Obama is too pussy to end Don't Ask, Don't Tell, a policy he thinks is morally reprehensible, constitutionally illegal, and a mockery of justice and equality, but is simply too in love with to be able to quit anyway.

Ummm, hooray??

So, rejoice gays! Even, your supposed biggest defender, the President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama, hates your repulsive, gross gay guts.

So much so that he won't even let you spill yours all over the battlefield because of it!

The Obama administration took legal action Thursday to stop a judge’s order striking down the Pentagon’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy prohibiting gays from openly serving in the military — a politically awkward move that effectively continues the Justice Department’s fight to preserve a policy that President Barack Obama has said he wants to dismantle

In its injunction request, the DOJ writes, "As the President has stated previously, the Administration does not support the DADT statute as a matter of policy and strongly supports its repeal. However, the Department of Justice has long followed the practice of defending federal statutes as long as reasonable arguments can be made in support of their constitutionality, even if the Administration disagrees with a particular statute as a policy matter, as it does here."

All the while, White House Press Secretary and discriminatory policy procrastinator extraordinaire Robert Gibbs continued to insist that "don't ask, don't tell" is "going to end" -- it's just a matter of how.

Ooooh, hopefully in the most painfully slow, ass backwards, infuriatingly illogical manner possible. Multiplied by infinity.

So far, so good?