Barack Obama Confuses America With Clear Answers And Thoughtful Responses

Well, well if it isn't Mr. Money Bags Barack Obama acting all presidential with his $838 billion stimulus bill to save America. You know the one that's gonna create or save 4 million jobs and help reverse the damage done by letting a bunch of morons who cry pork or earmark every time money is spent on something other than bombs and guns run things for eight years.

Which reminds me how much I'm gonna miss old George W. At least he made things fun. Like when he'd act all goofy during press conferences, trying to open locked doors, making funny faces, showing his newest dance moves, and of course pronouncing words in hilarious new ways just to make America feel good, if only for a few moments. That's just the kind of guy he was.

But now we're stuck with some elitist Rhodes Scholar president who not only calls on reporters using their actual names, but actually answers the questions asked. In full detail. With a clear grasp of the subject being discussed.

Which is weird, because I always thought press conferences were so the president could awkwardly avoid having to explain anything and instead showcase the hilarious new reporter nicknames he came up with while playing Tiddlywinks with Laura in the Oval Office.

In Obama We Trust