Who Needs Action When You Got Words?

In his first prime-time speech as president, Barack Obama will depart from the usual foreign policy focus to deliver a sobering assessment of the nation's economic crisis, including details of his socialist financial rescue plan.

But unlike his predecessors, Obama also plans to "treat the American people like adults, and share the truth with them about where we are and where we need to go."

Ugh. Who wants the truth when you can have lies? You think we want to hear all about how we've been living beyond our means for years and now our country is flat broke and how it's going to take a lot of hard-work and sacrifice to make things better?

Well we don't.

We want to hear all about how the mighty US of A is the best, most awesome country in the world with an endless supply of cash money to do whatever we want. Like start wars so we can shock and awe everyone with our remarkable power.

Or give disgraced CEO's millions in bonuses while their company collapses because we're America. And America is rich. And the people? Well, it doesn't get any more swell than these tremendous citizens of humanity.

But since bummer-bones Barry apparently prefers to see America's glass as half-empty, we're going to have look elsewhere for a little confidence boost.

Luckily we have Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, the GOP's rising star and potential 2012 presidential candidate, to deliver the Republican response to Obama's soul-crushing speech.

Unlike our pessimistic president, Jindal won't ruin our lovely evening with a realistic approach to the situation and inconvenient truths like how "our nation is facing a crisis we may not be able to reverse."

He'll just lie to us instead. Feels so much better that way.