Selfish Loser Obama Gives Nobel Prize Money To Silly Charity Cases Like Kids And Women

First, lame-o, ne'r-do-well President Barack Hussein Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing except parade his cute li'l behind across the globe, and now, instead of buying a new wardrobe for Michelle and the gals, and iPads for every terrible community organizer residing in his evil hometown of Chicago, this genius is donating his entire $1.4 million prize (cash money, yo!) to get this, helping people who actually need it. Ha ha loser!

Doesn't sound like something Hitler would do, which is weird because I always thought they were the exact same person, ya know, always trying to ram universal health down our throats and annihilate world Jewry and stuff.

But nooooo, despite what Fox News would lead you to believe, turns out this illegal Socialist alien is nothing like the Führer!

Instead, President NObama is donating all $1.4 million of his comically undeserved Nobel Peace Prize loot to helping students, veterans' families and survivors of Haiti's earthquake, and other organizations he said "do extraordinary work."

Can this guy be any more selfish?

The most money — $250,000 — went to Fisher House, which provides housing for families of patients being cared for at major military and VA medical centers.

The Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund, which raises money for long-term relief efforts in Haiti following that country’s devastating earthquake, received $200,000.

$125,000 went to six different charities:

– College Summit, which partners with schools with the goal of increasing college enrollment;

– The Posse Foundation, which awards scholarships to “public high school students with extraordinary academic and leadership potential who may be overlooked by traditional college selection processes”;

– The United Negro College Fund, which offers scholarship and internship programs for more than 60,000 students per year;

– The Hispanic Scholarship Fund, which awards scholarships and offers outreach support to the Hispanic community;

– The Appalachian Leadership and Education Foundation, which offers scholarships and leadership curriculum to young people from Appalachia;

– And the American Indian College Fund, which distributes scholarships to American Indian students and provides support for tribal college needs.

Two charities were awarded $100,000 each. One is AfriCare, which offers programs in Africa addressing health and HIV/AIDS, food security and agriculture, and water resource development. The other is the Central Asia Institute, which promotes education and literacy in remote areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan with a focus on educating girls.

Ugh, next thing you know, every darn color of the rainbow will be linking arms, swaying to Kumbaya in peaceful harmony, harnessing the power of their newly educated minds to find new and improved solutions to the world's most pressing issues, and war will no longer be a fun romp through the magical land of Oz, where cupcakes, not smart bombs, fall from the sky, the air is always the perfect temperature, heated by the glowing rays of the sun, instead of radioactive fallout from burning flesh rotting upon the scorched Earth, and no one's throats are red and raw from having health care rammed down them by some deranged madman with a funny name and a winning smile.