This Nice North Carolina Man, Bill, Isn't A Racist, He Simply Doesn't Care For All Them Black Folk

Oh no! This poor, hardworking, decent, REAL AMERICAN from good ol' North Carolina, Bill, simply does not understand why every single negro man, women, and child living off in these great United States insists on calling C-SPAN, round-the-clock to demand welfare, health care, free government funded abortions, reparations for those few years of slightly rough labor, or just rave about that Black Jesus they loooooove talking about so much, Barack Hussein Obama.

It's not that Hill Billy over here hates dem blacks or anything, I mean he does own a colored TV and drive a black (gasp!) pickup truck for Christ's sake, it's just that he wishes they would all just go somewhere far, far away (back to Africa?) and be done with the whole livin' in "America" thing already.

CALLER: "Yeah, I'd like to make a little respectful criticism here about C-SPAN. Umm, the last two guys I know were white guys (phew!) but you have black folks calling in on the Republican line, independents, and you have so many of them I can't believe this is just an accident. If you keep on with the way you've been programming, you should change your name from C-SPAN to Black-SPAN."

"I mean I know they have an opinion (or at least 3/5ths of one), but I wish that they would be honest and call in on the right line (ya know, one that's separate but equal). Every one of them thinks Obama is Jesus Christ and they don't like when everybody criticizes him. Well, I didn't hear all this umm...uh...eh...ummm anger when George Bush was in. I mean all they did was criticize George Bush. Every day, you'd hear 'he lied, he lied!'...All this stuff and I don't know how so many of these folks, if they're ten percent or 12 percent of the population, seems to be 80 percent of your callers."

Between the blacks and the homos breathing too much of our good, clean, real American air, it's like there's no place left for a pure-bred White man to even inhale and exhale anymore without being contaminated by gross minority-saturated particles.

'Cept of course at the nearest Teabagger rally, the last black-'n-queer free haven left.

"Now I don't know what you can do about it (lynch 'em?), but I'm just about ready and I think a lot of other Republicans and Conservatives are just about ready to just go somewhere else."

It's called a time warp back to a kinder, gentler time when the white man was safe.

Ya know, the good ol' days when the Coloreds knew their proper place (in the cotton fields or on the floor, scrubbin' the white man's shoes to a glistening spit-shine), and were only seen not heard, 'cept for the occasional yelp when gettin' a whippin' by the master for lookin' the decent, pure, white womenfolk in the eye.