Sarah Palin Knows We Need Constitutional Shredders, Not Scholars, As President Of America

It is no secret the Tea Party movement and its loyal herb 'n spice obsessed 'baggers live, breathe, and procreate solely for the Constitution of the United States.

In fact, the teabaggers' undying affection for our nation's founding charter is soooooo strong, that the very constitution of their entire movement is strict adherence to and devoted worship of the original sacred document of freedom, the U.S. Constitution.

So, naturally, the weekend's Burning Man festival for disgruntled wingnuts in Harry Reid's hometown of Searchlight, Nevada was teeming with overweight, middle aged white men donning colonial garb and carrying signs, posters, and slogans expressing their deepest devotion to the only God they answer to, the 4,543-unamended-word document known as the Constitution.

Not to mention, all the homages, reverence, and idolization for the document they've never read (waaaay too long!) you'd expect from the freedom-fightin', public-speaking abortion and common sense holocaust known as one of Sarah Palin's keynote addresses to everyday, average American Joe's and Jane's dressed like 18th century revolutionaries complete with breeches, stockings, waistcoats, and three-cornered felt hats, while sipping cider and snacking on Johnnycake and molasses in the middle of some desert town in 21st century Nevada.

"Our vision for America is anchored in time-tested truths that the government that governs least governs best, that the Constitution provides the path to a more perfect union — it's the Constitution," Sarah exclaimed.

"By the way, it's within our own borders and homeland where we we should feel so safe and not condone...err...umm...any type of violence...it's within the homeland that we should feel safe and that makes me want to say:

In these volatile times when we are a nation at war, now more than ever is when we need a commander-in-chief, not a constitutional law professor lecturing us from a lectern.

WOOOOOHOOOO!! Yeah!!! Hear that NObama?? We don't need your stinkin', elitist knowledge of the Constitution to tell us what's actually in the Constitution and what is simply a figment of our deranged pea brains.

What America NEEDS is another semi-literate "MBA" President who doesn't know the difference between Constitution and Constipation to save us from this one-year Socialist hell, and lead the nation back into dual economic and international crises, like a true freedom-loving, teabagging patriot.

Just like our founding fathers intended.