California State Sen. Roy Ashburn, a vehemently anti-gay, family values Republican father of four, who's voted against every gay rights measure in the State Senate since taking office, including recognizing out-of-state same-sex marriages, Harvey Milk Day and expanding anti-discrimination laws (ya know, for the children!), has a dirty little secret of his own: he's a terrible gay too!
Yes, the same esteemed state senator from Southern California, who in 2005 spearheaded an anti-gay marriage rally to protect "the future of our children," was arrested on Wednesday for allegedly driving drunk after leaving Faces, a totally gay nightclub in Sacramento.
Of course, prior to his DUI arrest while chasing hot man-tail, Ashburn is perhaps best remembered for being a fearless, dedicated opponent of the Godless gays and the abomination known as same-sex marriage.
"Our friends and neighbors in our community are restating the obvious -- that the institute of marriage is fundamental to our society," Ashburn told the crowd. "Marriage between one man and one woman is fundamental to civilization."
"We need to preserve traditional values for the future of our children. Children must be raised with morals and principles. As a society, we must provide them with a secured and loving environment that allows them to flourish."
In secret. Hopefully, while wasted and operating a motor vehicle en route to a seedy motel with the hot piece of man muscle you just snagged, who, if all goes well, you will soon be railing and banging and slamming and drawing rainbows all over before returning home to your loving wife and children, who you care deeply about, especially when deep inside another man.
According to the report:
The California Highway Patrol pulled over Republican State Sen. Roy Ashburn at 2:00 a.m. Wednesday after an officer noticed a black Chevy Tahoe swerving at 13th and L Streets.After being booked into the Sacramento County Jail and released on $1,400 bond, Ashburn issued the following statement:
When the officer stopped the state-issued vehicle, the driver identified himself as Senator Ashburn. He was arrested without incident and charged with two misdemeanors: driving under the influence and driving with a blood alcohol level higher than .08% or higher.
A male passenger, who was not identified as a lawmaker, was also in the car but was not detained.
"I am deeply sorry for my actions and offer no excuse for my poor judgment. I accept complete responsibility for my conduct and am prepared to accept the consequences for what I did. I am also truly sorry for the impact this incident will have on those who support and trust me – my family, my constituents, my friends, and my colleagues in the Senate."
And also, I am not gay nor have I ever been gay.
Of course, not everyone's buying the whole "Wide Stance" claim (except maybe Larry Craig), including out 'n proud mayor of West Sacramento, Christopher Cabaldon, who called out Ashburn in a Facebook posting about six months ago, and says he's spotted gay-bashing, closeted man lover Sen. Roy Ashburn at gay clubs numerous times over the years.
Upon hearing news of Ashburn's arrest, Mayor Christopher Cabaldon said, "To live a secret life and at the same time be attacking exactly the people who you're one of -- but that you're too ashamed to admit -- that's the hypocrisy that I think for folks, whether you're gay or not, is just unacceptable in politics."
Don't be silly, Mayor! Hypocrisy is the lifeblood of politics. Gay, on the other hand, is the deathblow.
Whoa, Whoa, settle down, Roy! No need to get all excited, I didn't mean that kind of blow. Get your head out of the gutter! Sicko.