Aside From Filthy Jews, Who Wouldn't Vote For Ohio's New "Young Gun" Republican Candidate & Weekend Nazi Impersonator, Rich Iott?

All Heil Führer Rich Iott, second from left, in Fine Nazi SS Waffen Form!

The one thing really missing from this year's bumper crop of insane Republican/Teabagger candidates, trying desperately to become part of the big bad gubmint they're always shrieking about, is of course, a good, old-fashioned, Tea-approved, Grand Old Party nominee, personally selected as one of lone Jewish Republican Eric Cantor's rising stars or "Young Guns" as he likes to call 'em, who also enjoys dressing up like an actual Nazi Waffen SS soldier and playing fun Axis Invasion Games in the woods around his native Ohio in his spare time.

Not anymore, my friends, not anymore! The Nazi drought is officially over! Meet your newest, favoritest, wingnuttiest Teabagging make-believe Nazi candidate, and future congressman (in Lederhosen!), the honorable Rich Iott from Ohio. A real charmer!

And like most other middle-aged Christian white men who spend their weekends donning combat boots, polishing their swastikas, and reenacting actual military scenes of various high-ranking Nazi divisions, Rich Iott's innocent dabbling in harmless Nazi fun is simply because he loves history, that's all! The lovable ol' history buff just can't get enough of it!

Iott, whose district lies in Northwest Ohio, was involved with a group that calls itself Wiking, whose members are devoted to re-enacting the exploits of an actual Nazi division, the 5th SS Panzer Division Wiking.

When contacted by The Atlantic, Iott confirmed his involvement with the group over a number of years, but said his interest in Nazi Germany was historical and he does not subscribe to the tenets of Nazism. "No, absolutely not," he said. "In fact, there's a disclaimer on the [Wiking] website. And you'll find that on almost any reenactment website. It's purely historical interest in World War II."

Whatever you say, Hitler. We totally understand!

Iott, a member of the Ohio Military Reserve, added, "I've always been fascinated by the fact that here was a relatively small country that from a strictly military point of view accomplished incredible things. I mean, they took over most of Europe and Russia, and it really took the combined effort of the free world to defeat them. From a purely historical military point of view, that's incredible."

It is incredible isn't it?? I mean just imagine what the fearless, heroic Nazis could have accomplished if those n'er do well Allies had kept their pesky, free-world noses to their own Jew-loving selves, and out of important German business!

How can you not marvel at all the amazing things a country can do when fueled by the brutal slave labor of annexed foes and the calculated, militarized mass murder of the European continent's entire Jewish population??

I, for one, am tempted to lace up my knee high, patent leather combat boots, polish my SS insignia, magic marker on my own adorable, signature Hitler 'stash, throw on my mint condition, authentic Reichsführer-SS armband, and start huntin' Jews myself, right now, out of sheer admiration for the Nazi's go-getter attitude, incomparable passion, and tactical military brilliance!

But for some gay reason, not everyone is as excited that the congressional candidate they endorsed moonlights as one of Hitler's notorious Nazi SS henchman every weekend in the woods of suburban Ohio.

Which is odd because I always thought Republicans loved when their hand-picked, up 'n coming Representatives wax poetic about Nazis, Hitler, the mass extermination of Jews, etc, but I guess that's only acceptable when referring to President Obama. Apparently, all other Nazi affiliations are a big NEIN, NEIN!

Who woulda thunk it?

It only took one day for Eric Cantor to enact his own Final Solution and scrub this rising star Nazi candidate from his awe-inspiring "Young Guns" group of 40-and 50-something GOP creeps and freaks hand-chosen by Heir Cantor to be the sexy, new face of the Republican Party.

Until last night, the GOP included the candidate, Rich Iott, on a list of promising potential members called Contenders — a notch below their so-called Young Guns. Now he’s gone, without a trace.
You can get away with a lot in conservative politics these days, but it turns out spending your weekends dressed as a Nazi, celebrating the brave Waffen 5th SS Panzer Division is still a bridge too far.

Ugh, typical elitists! Running scared just because their personally groomed, hand-selected Republican candidate happens to a have a secret li'l habit of dressing up like his favoritest Führer every Friday-Sunday.

"I think that Representative Cantor did what so many career politicians do," Rich Iott said. "He reacted before he had all the facts. He didn't know the whole story. He didn't understand what historical reenacting is all about, or the education side of it. And he just made a decision without all the facts. My opponent here is cut out of the same cloth. Those are the people who passed the health care bill before they knew what was in it. The same folks who passed the stimulus bill..."

Poor, poor Nazi dress-up candidate! How could meany Eric Cantor disown him without even knowing the education value of his weekend blitzkrieg activities?? You would expect that kind of behavior from a lame, stimulus & health care-supporting Democrat, but from a fellow Republican?? For shame!

Though, I guess he should've expected this from Cantor, what with him being a terrible Jew and all!

Of course, Iott says he does not recall exactly when he joined the Wiking group (his name appears on a unit roster as far back as 2003), but did so with his son "as a father-son bonding thing."

Ah yes, nothing says togetherness like some relaxing, enjoyable quality time playing Nazi with the fam!

He says his name and pictures were removed from the Wiking website not out of concern that they would harm his political career, but because he quit the group three years ago, after his son lost interest. Iott participated in the group under his own name, and also under the alias "Reinhard Pferdmann," which has also been removed, and which Iott described as being his German alter ego.

"Part of the reenactor's [experience]," Iott said, "is is the living-history part, of really trying to get into the persona of the time period. In many, not just in our unit, but in many units what individuals do is create this person largely based on a Germanized version of their name, and a history kind of based around your own real experiences. 'Reinhard' of course is 'Richard' in German. And 'Pferdmann,' 'pferd' is a horse. So it's literally 'horse man.'"

Oh goody! We feel soooooo much better now that we know all about Mr. Horse Man
Reinhard Pferdmann Rich Iott's true, purely educational intentions.

"The purpose of historical reenacting is not to glorify war, necessarily, or the sides," he said. "It's to educate people. To learn about what happened. And to keep those memories alive, so we don't let it happen again."
Iott said "participating in historical reenactments, living history, is a much better way to get the message across" than other forms or education. "It's a great outreach to the public."

So true! I mean we can all talk about 9/11 'til we're blue in the face, but wouldn't it make more sense to just become one of those 9/11 enthusiasts who simply like to dress up as radical Jihadists (I hear they do a great Mohamed Atta!) and fly commercial jetliners into replica Twin Towers to get a real up close 'n personal sense of the thrill that comes with the sudden, explosive, fiery death of 3,000 Americans in the name of Allah??

It seems so obvious!

Asked if he regretted dressing up as a Nazi, now that he's running for Congress, Iott said: "What I regret is that we're wasting the time talking about this issue, when we should be talking about the real issues that are facing the country today."

What do you think, solving the Jewish Problem is something that happens overnight?? It took Hitler years (decades in fact!), and even he couldn't kill all the Jews everywhere, so what do you expect Horse Man over here to do?

He's a freakin' Nazi impersonator from bumblef**k, Ohio, not a magically mustached miracle worker from Vienna, for Christ's sake!

But, give the man horse some time! Call it a hunch, but something tells me Reinhard Pferdmann Rich Iott is going places!

Other than the Juden & Allied infested woods of his own sycamore and SS filled suburban Ohio backyard!

“It’s a tragedy that we don’t want to forget,” Iott said. "It did indeed happen. We can't sweep it under the rug."

Of course not! There would be nowhere to put the Jews then, silly!

When Hate & Hombres Collide: J.T. Ready (Aim, Fire!) & His Posse Of Armed White Supremacists Head South To The Border!

To most average Americans, or at least those of us still blessed with a full set of teeth and the ability to formulate a single coherent English sentence without the words "sp*cs" or "n*ggers," Arizona's awesome, new ¡Adiós Amigos! law stemming the tide of gross border jumping beans streaming into the good ol' US of A from Mexicanland or Mexicoville or wherever it is dirty brown people come from, is the unconstitutional result of ugly, racist, Teabagger-fueled White Power hysteria.

But to some, like neo-Nazi J.T. Ready, Aryanzona's Nazi immigration law simply doesn't go far enough. Which is why he and some fascist buddies have decided to gear up, head South, and roam the desert lookin' for some good, old fashioned Mexicans to hunt! His #1 favoritest past-time!

Because proud Caucasians like J.T. Ready rely on more than just dumb, two initialed names and even dumber ideas to prove their white trash worthiness. They earn their swastika stripes by bein' the best damn roving gang of armed skinheads ever to go snipin' for smelly Mexicans before they're able to sneak across the border, steal all their jobs, and have their way with their women and children.

If the God damn gubmint is going to sit back and let America be destroyed by hardworking, industrious "narco terrorists" streaming like roaches over the border to provide a better life for their families, then J.T. Ready and his posse of Klansman and White Supremacists are left no choice but to take matters into their own two trigger-happy hands. For liberty!

A freedom he's been protectin' since like all the way back in 2007, when Ready posted on the New Saxon website, a forum that serves as "An Online Community for Whites, by Whites:" Hooray!!

The truth is that negroids screw monkeys and rape babies in afreaka [sic]. Then stupid white man who licks kosher jew rear lets negroids in...Stop Negroid immigration and integration now!!! Nature will take care of the rest."

Ummm, okay?? But that was like soooooooo three years ago! Surely, a man of J.T.'s Ready's girth and caliber has matured beyond "Negroid screw monkeys" and "kosher Jew rear" and graduated to more pressing matters like evil, sombrero wearing, La Bamba singing, women-sexin' menaces to a pure, white Christian America, like God and Jesus intended when they first arrived as immigrants on the shores of Ellis Island to purify the new land of any terrible coloreds and other non-white undesirables.

If they don't want my people out there, then there's an easy way to send us home: Secure the border," he said. "We'll put our guns back on the shelf, and that'll be the end of that."

The end, finale, finito! See, it's as easy as uno, dos, tres! All they need to do is secure our borders with electrically-charged barbed wire fences, landmines, armed guards (preferably with neo-nazi tendencies) with M-16s scouring the horizon from towers, lay a trail of tacos and/or pesos, and viola! Sit back and enjoy the fiesta!

And if the big, bad government refuses to declare awesome war on our neighbors to the South? Then what will Ready and his armed militia of Southern fried freakshows do if they see Mexicans trying to cross illegally into Arizona?

"We'll Kill Them."

Of course! He's been Ready his whole life...the go-getter!

Hillary Clinton Finally Gets The Hang Of Blowing Things...Like State Secrets On Ecuadorian TV!

Apparently, Hillary Clinton has learned the importance of blowing things every once in a while, because 12 years after a little reminder in the form of an eager, young intern named Monica, Hillrod has finally succumbed to the pressure and opened that nice mouth, big and wide.

Yes, Hilly blew it big time!

Turns out the usually tight-lipped half of the Clintons let the proverbial cat out of the bag when sbe very casually told an Ecuadorian television interviewer that President Obama's Justice Department will matter-of-factly be bringing a lawsuit against Arizona's immigration law, probably because it is an insane violation of our constitutional rights and a very ugly reminder of what happens when hatred and fear hijack public discourse.

Oh, but what does an old hat at State, who some may more precisely call Secretary, like her know anyway?

Aside from the ho-hum fact (yawn!) that Obama's justice department is about to go loco on Arizona's wingnut law prohibiting gross Mexicanish-looking people from inhabiting their Grand KKK Wizard Canyon State.

Contacted about Clinton's comments, State Department spokesman PJ Crowley said they simply reflected her beliefs.

"The Secretary was asked about the Arizona law during a TV interview in Ecuador," Crowley said.

"She believes that a better approach is comprehensive immigration reform, and said so. Regarding how far along the legal review is, that is a matter for the Department of Justice."

Ummm, yeah, I'm sure they'd agree too. If the damn blabbermouths in State would ever stop running their mouths all over South American teevee shows.

But nooooo! Madame Secretary just couldn't keep her big trap shut and let the big news umm, slip(?) for the whole (Mexican?) world to hear during a June 8 interview for Ecuadorean TV:

"President Obama has spoken out against the law because he thinks that the federal government should be determining immigration policy," Hillary said. "And the Justice Department, under his direction, will be bringing a lawsuit against the act."

Well, well, look at little-Miss-know-it-all now! Mentioning a closely-guarded secret before the Administration completed its public rollout strategy...How positively Bill Clinton of her!

Perhaps this slip of the ol' tongue was some revenge for ol' Hillrod, a bit of an "F-You" to Obama for stealing her rightful place as the first female Presidente of these great United States, who will say whatever she wants, whenever she feels like it, God damn it! Or maybe, it was just an honest mistake, sort of like a momentary, "I forget where I was while spilling hush-hush Justice Department secrets on Arizona's Nazi immigration law against Latinos."

Which just so happened to be in the South American country called Ecuador. Ironic, I know!

Not as ironic as, say, Arizona Governor and famed daughter of fictional Nazi-hunter Wilford Drinkwine, Jan Brewer, claiming to be "stunned" that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton would dare say that the Justice Department will sue her state over its terrible, new, immigration law. But much like her freedom-fighting father before her, G.I. Jan is vowing to fight the enemy, tooth and nail!

And she's in it to win it, mis amigos!

The heroic governor blasted Clinton's remarks as  "no way to treat the people of Arizona."

We do that with a net, prodder, and one-way ticket back to Juarez! ¿Comprende?

"To learn of this lawsuit through an Ecuadorean interview with the secretary of state is just outrageous," she said. "If our own government intends to sue our state to prevent illegal immigration enforcement, the least it can do is inform us before it informs the citizens of another nation."

A terrible, no-good Latino nation, no less!

"We are going to pursue it, we're going to be very aggressive," Brewer said. "We'll meet them in court...And we will win."

Unless, another one of NObama's elitist arugula cilantro-eating activist judges like Sonia Sotomayor is presiding. Then who knows what will happen!

Maybe they'll strike down Aryanzona's "Bye, Bye Brownie" law and start deporting dried up, sun-scorched, Mexi-huntin', desert-dwellin' lady folk, whose patriotic papas died fighting a similar Nazi scourge in 1955 California, instead.

You just never know with those crazy, reverse-racist muchachas will do!

Hell, even the supposedly "trustworthy" white ones like ol' Hill spill the beans from time to time.

Just so long as they aren't of the Mexican, jumping variety, ¡no problemo!

When Gov. Jan Brewer Said Her Father Died "Fighting The Nazis" She Simply Confused Nazis With Mexicans, An Honest Mistake!

America's fiercest blonde-haired fighter of scary Mexicans, Aryanzona governor Jan Brewer just can't stop shrieking about all the wonderful reasons to round up the state's brown people and kill them ship 'em back to Mexicanland or wherever the hell it is these dark, menacing "things" come from.

But you know what hurts sweet Jan even more than terrible brown people milling about her whites-only state? Being called horrible, MEANY names like Satan, Marilyn Manson, or heaven's forbid, the absolute worst name in the history of insulting names, Hitler's daughter (gasp!).

Well this stings sensitive Miss Brewer more than you can possibly imagine. Deep, searing pain that rips right through her tan-but-not-Mexicanish-tan, desert fried flesh, and pierces straight into her shriveled sun-scorched, still-beating, little heart.

Why, you may wonder?

Ummm, maybe because Jan Brewer knows everything there is to know about being hunted by Nazis simply for being a Jew, Queer, Intellectual, Communist, or other putrid, non-Aryan minority of sin, and her hunting brown people couldn't be any farther from, say the Nazi policy of forced detention followed quickly by forced extermination. They're not even in the same realm, really!

She would know too, considering her father, her brave, warrior father, sacrificed everything to fight the Nazis, on their own dreadful, Jew-nourished, blood-soaked German soil. Hell, he died doing that. This takes real courage!

Almost as much courage as it took St. Jan to make up this wildly audacious lie, which in turn gave the rest of us the courage to proclaim that Jan Brewer deserves to be tied to a post outside the Holocaust Museum and left to rot, while the vultures (not the dirty Mexicans for once!) have their way with her.

Here's what Gov. Jan Brewer told the Arizona Republic: 

"The Nazi comments…they are awful," she said, her voice dropping. "Knowing that my father died fighting the Nazi regime in Germany, that I lost him when I was 11 because of that . . . and then to have them call me Hitler’s daughter. It hurts. It’s ugliness beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.”

Beyond anything she's ever experienced! Or fabricated! Or pulled out of her pasty white Neo-Nazi behind. Because her awesome, fearless father, the one who died braving evil Nazi forces in the heart of Deutschland, actually died a decade after World War II, of lung cancer, and the closest he ever came to "fighting the Nazi regime in Germany" was working in a weapons plant in Nevada during the war.

Nevada, Normandy, is there even a difference?!? All you have to do is substitute Hitler's foot-soldiers with Mexico's field workers and voila! it's Battle of the Bulge all over again!

And since we know upstanding, Republican politicians like Jan Brewer would never lie or exaggerate about how her father, Wilford Drinkwine (no joke...really, that's his name) met his heroic end fighting Nazis in Germany, the only logical conclusion is that the Nazis were actually running the naval munitions factory in Nevada, where Drinkwine worked as a civilian supervisor and "eventually died from the toxic fumes he inhaled there," a decade later in 1955...in California.

Of course! It makes perfect sense...

I almost forgot the Nazi's ultimate secret weapon against the Allies was a powerful, one-two punch of mesothelioma and black lung.

Naturally, Brewer’s press people are saying of course that’s what happened; Brewer very clearly meant that her dad worked in a weapons factory and was on disability afterward for respiratory problems he developed when she said "he died fighting the Nazis."

Just like how my father also sacrificed life and limb to defeat the greatest 20th century threat to humanity.

When he was 8 years-old in 1944, he skinned his knee pretty bad in a schoolyard incident while fighting the Nazi regime in Germany.

On a playground in Chicago's South Side.

What's Gross, Creepy, Slimy & Makes You Shudder All Over? A Nazi-Spewin' Newt Goin' Off The Deep End

Heil Newt?

Lovable amphibian-named pinnacle of reason and truth, Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrich will say and do just about anything to get someone, anyone, to pay attention to what he, a thrice-married, twice divorced, multi-adulterous, washed-up former Republican Speaker of the House has to say about the current state of things, here in NObama's America, if you can even call this Socialist, Nazi hellhole America anymore.

You see, Newt has kept himself quite busy since his unceremonious resignation from his House seat and Speaker role over a DECADE ago, when thanks to his savvy leadership and smart policies of "Hell No!" and "Bill Clinton Die!" (while secretly sticking it to his own li'l office muffin), Republicans began hemorrhaging seats right, left, and every which way, and Newt was kindly asked to scram his hypocritical, enormous behind the hell out of Washington, DC.

But you betcha Newt has surely been doing very important things since his humiliating defeat way back in 1998, when Congress was charged with the critical national security task of figuring out all the mysterious things a Democratic president can do with a Cuban cigar, a certain intern ladies' hooha, and a few minutes of spare time.

Very important things like heading a health care lobbying firm to make sure the gross poors die in the streets where they belong, not nice, warm hospitals for decent, hardworking Americans who don't push their houses around in a grocery cart, whoring himself out to oil companies as their affable, white-haired spokesbaby to “Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less," and all those other awesome undersea adventures that happen when lining your nation's coastlines with offshore oil rigs no one checks or regulates because that doesn't help Newt get richer, baby richer!

But, on the bright side, you do get scores of delicious oil-soaked marine animals washing up on beaches up and down the Gulf Coast, from Florida to Mississippi to Louisiana, which can be tons of fun in it's own right!

But lining his pocket with millions in dirty oil money and dead dolphins isn't all Newt's been doing since departing from relevance as dear House Speaker. Not by a long shot!

Sir Newton has also been a highly-sought-after GOP adviser, doling out his trademark words of wisdom on everything from how to deny climate change (its easy if you try!) to help budding young conservative stars and longtime (orange) faces of the current minority Grand Obstructionist Party remain as disingenuous, deranged, and ultimately as successful in their desperate, maniacal quest for power as he was.Yay!

Newt has even put his years of tireless dedication and political know-how into the latest, greatest Pulitzer-worthy book from a Republican, not nicknamed after a terrifying aquatic creature, like, say a Barracuda, the soon-to-be legendary, To Save America, likely the second most important book in all of history, behind $arah Palin's 432-word tribute to her bank account, Goin' Rogue.

In this shining gem of truth and enlightenment, To Save America, Newt needn't bother with silly liberal lies, myths, or crazy figments of Al Gore's imagination like climate change or other concocted threats to America's security nobody but hippies, heathens, or arugula-eating elitists with advanced degrees in science believe anyway.

Puh-lease! Newt has much bigger fish to fry (in delicious oil?) than trying to preserve some dumb swirling blue third planet from the Sun (which is probably just Jesus glowing anyway, not some radioactive, helium and hydrogen superstar with a mass 330,000 times that of Earth, or about the size of Newt's ego).

Like saving this blessed red, white, and blue Union (of puritans) from evil Obama and the congressional Democrats' "secular-socialist machine" that "represents as great a threat to America as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union."

VAN SUSTEREN: All right, Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union. Go a little far on that one?

GINGRICH: No. Because I’m not talking about moral equivalence of the people, I’m talking about the end result. If the Nazis had defeated us, then America as we know it would have disappeared. If the Soviet Union had defeated us, the America as we know it would have disappeared. I argue in this book—and I think it’s a pretty reasoned and compelling argument—that the fact is, the values of a secular socialist movement are antithetical—and you hear from President Obama all the time. … The secular socialist left doesn’t want God anywhere in public life and doesn’t want to acknowledge God anywhere in public life.

And since terrible Chairman ObaMAO actually believes in the constitutional separation of church and state (kinda like those "fathers" Newt and the rest of the human bags of Lipton love referencing so much), Newt is 100%  positive America will undoubtedly find itself on that slippery slope of rounding up and mass-murdering millions of innocent Jews, Gypsies, intellectuals, homosexuals, disabled, and elderly all in the name of the Aryan master race and achieving God's vision of a perfect, pure world.

Of course, Gingrich's "reasoned and compelling" argument for this alleged new Hitler with a jumpshot consists of sound, factual evidence, such as the voices in his head buzzing "Socialism" and "universal health care" and "helping poor people not die or go bankrupt" every time he closes he eyes at night, after his nanny lulls him to gentle sleep with a nice story about the good ol' days when America was mighty and strong and run by a real Christian leader with a rudimentary understanding of the English language and even less idea about running a country (to the ground?) or how to be a president (play golf and go on cool airplane rides with beds in them while giving unwanted back rubs to German lady prime ministers?).

WALLACE: So — but you compare that to the Nazis and the Communists?

GINGRICH: I compare that as a threat.

Who knows what kind of Holocausts will arise from the terrible government regulating the saints and do-gooders in the health insurance and oil industries who want nothing more than to make this world a better place for themselves, their children, and their children's children. Not included, of course, are those other "children" who didn't make it, thanks to exorbitant medical costs, sudden dropped coverage, lack of existing coverage, skyrocketing premiums, and other perfectly logical reasons why they're sorry to inform you that li'l Johnny's leukemia is no longer covered, but thanks for your life-savings anyway.

Oh, and you know that house of yours, yeah, we're gonna need to take that too. Don't hate us, we're just doing what God and the free market, and hidden fees, and duplicitous politicians and business schemes, (and billions of dollars in bonuses) would want us to do.

Newt just gets it! Which is precisely why he, like fellow messenger of Divinity, Glenn Beck, have found themselves suddenly stricken with a severe case of Nazi Tourettes, with the index of Newt's rational, fact-based book citing Nazi references eight times, each linking the Obama administration's progressivism and much-needed brand of social justice to Nazi Germany policies of Zyclon B gas chambers and total extermination.

Because who better to highlight the evil tendencies of humankind, namely of some dumb community organizer from Kenya or Chicago or Satan's womb, than a God-loving man named after a slimy, unsightly, pea-brained evolutionary freak of both land and sea, who was lovingly divorcing his various wives while they were recovering from cancer, all the while diddling his hot li'l GOP secretary on the sly, and prattling on about that Democratic Führer famous for his brilliant Oral Oratory skills.

No, not Obama silly, Bill Clinton!

Mixed Nutz: Hippies Crackin' Nazis, Almond-Led Gun Nuts Packin' Heat In Parks, Romney Roastin' Wingnuts, & Sarah's Stash Of Cold, Hard Ca$hews

About 40 lame-o white supremacists from some quasi neo-Nazi militia in Detroit headed west to the Mexican haven of Los Angeles to protest all the dirty, gross brown people working, living, and breathing (gasp!) the pure, white air there every day en route to reclaiming the land stolen from them by the evil gringos during the Mexican-American war.

Sadly, the Nazis were soon yelled at and beaten up by local hippies, Jews, Latinos, Blacks and other scary minorities who were apparently able to bully their way past the Black and Latino cops dispatched to protect the nice group o' Nazis while they exercised their First Amendment rights to tell all non-milk hued undesirables (black and Latino cops included) to stop "clogging up our streets" and get the f**k out of their country, God's country, as soon as they're done making sure Hitler's new Aryan Army doesn't get too roughed up by the ominous second-class citizens (hippies included!) closing in on them.

Must be the new high-grade medical marijuana. That Cali chronic's crazier than Nazis and Teabaggers, yo!

One Neo-Nazi, bloodied by the protesters, carried a sign that read "Christianity=Paganism=Heathen$" with an arrow pointing at a swastika.

"Gosh, I think he just didn't have a clear message. I don't even think he was a Nazi," said one onlooker who witnessed the melee.

Those crazy Nazis! Wait, or was it Teabaggers? It's sooooo hard to keep 'em straight these days!

Speaking of kindred Nazi and Teabagger spirit, the latest Public Policy Polling survey of leading Republican candidates for the 2012 presidential elections shows Mittens Romney continuing to dazzle at the top of the pack, followed by the new spokesman against sodomizing puppies, Mike Huckabee at 27%, and beautiful Alaskan wanderer-turned-millionaire-wonder Sarah Palin at 23%.

"The big story in 2012 polling continues to be Palin's surprisingly poor performance. She hasn't led in a single one of the dozen individual states we've taken a look at, and runs ten points behind Romney nationally. She is actually the most well liked of the GOP front runners with 66% viewing her favorably to 55% for Huckabee and 54% for Romney, but there's a disconnect between how much voters like Palin and how willing they are to support her for President."

President of America, that is. But, President of Facebook, you betcha!

Speaking of our #1 favoritest maverick to ever venture from her frozen home near Russia to bless us sinners in the sweltering, Godless mainland by letting us help her make Mount McKinley's of money, none of which she will donate to any candidates of any party because she is Sarah and Sarah doesn't do elitist things like donate money to actual candidates.

She does Sarah-y things like draw pretty interactive map hit lists targeting vulnerable congressional Democrats with gun crosshairs, along with peaceful, political words like "reload," "aim" and "fire," so people will know to bust out their bullet point pens and spray ink all over the ballot box. For freedom!

Sure, Sarah put the bull's eye on 20 U.S. House races on her favoritest Facebook, because every gun nut knows "Take up your arms' means voting."

What it doesn't mean is her highness giving even one cent (her two-sense is apparently enough) to any of the "favored" candidates in those same contested districts during the first quarter of the year.

"Although her SarahPAC took in $400,000 in the first quarter and had more than $900,000 in the bank, it gave only $7,500 to candidates between January and the end of March, plus an additional $2,000 to two other PACs. None went to Republicans in the races she targeted."

Instead, it went to important things like de-icing private planes, helping Sarah learn secret tricks like how to scribble speeches on her hand (teleprompters are so elitist!), post on social networking sites (that series of tubes called the internets can be so darned tricky!), and find the perfect shade of lipstick to go with her new designer digs for maverick hockey mom pigs who know there's more than one way to skin a cat.

A DemoCAT, that is!

Quite the li'l pistol, that one!

Speaking of unhinged firearms, a bunch of paranoid, delusional gun nuts masquerading as patriots descended on two federal parks in Virginia to make history as the first people to wave AK-47s and other semi automatic weapons at a demonstration in a national park to protest the federal government taking away the rights of paranoid gun fanatics to brandish their weapons and scream about said evil federal government.

Of course, those coming to the "Restore the Constitution" rally give no credit to President Obama for signing the law that permits them to bring their guns to Fort Hunt, run by the National Park Service, or to Gravelly Point, as close to the District as they could get while packin' some metal muscle and also complying with local and Interior Department regulations. Nor are they comforted by a broad expansion of gun rights in several states since B. Hussein's election.

Nope. These real Americans don't need trivial things like facts or truth to tell them why they hate this black menace in the White House, and his Democratic cabal of secret Muslim terrorists, Commies and Socialists out to destroy America. With health care. And gay rights. And sensible nuclear policies. And Wall Street regulations. And abortions. And immigrants.

But, for the rest of those fake Americans not packing heat or carrying extra ammo magazines strapped to their rear, who aren't afraid of the big, bad (black) government comin' for their guns and grandmas, it is probably a wise idea to stay as far away from Gravelly Point or Fort Hunt Park as possible, because one of these "heroes" will probably see something dark rustling around, mistake it for a bear or black person, and start accidentally(?) spraying bullets in all directions.

Just like Jesus and the Constitution intended.

The brandishing of weapons is "not just an important symbol" but "a reminder of who we are," said rally organizer Daniel Almond.

Dumb, racist wingnuts who wouldn't know the constitution if it hit them over the head. Unless it came ripping out the other end in a trail of exploding flesh, blood and brain matter.

"The founders knew that it is the tendency of government to expand itself and embrace its own power, and they knew the citizenry had to be reminded of that."

Just like that other "patriot" who hated the terrible government so much he blew up the Oklahoma city federal building and murdered 168 people, including 19 little kids at daycare, and reminded everyone what another freedom-loving hero of the right does to show his love of America on this very April 19th day, 15 years ago.

But you may remember him better as convicted terrorist and mass murderer, Timothy McVeigh.