The Only Thing Scarier Than Mobs Of Crazed, Gun-Waving Teabaggers Are Mobs Of Polite, Hand-Waving Tea Drinkers

Unless you've been living under a rock (no, no, not whatever it is that's beneath Rick Perry's perfectly combed, thick brown coif) or have simply been too busy following Sarah Palin's earth-shattering announcement not to continue duping dumb white people out of their hard-earned money in her ridiculous faux presidential ponzi scheme/grifter bus tour, chances are you're aware that thousands of everyday people have taken their peace pipes and hacky sacks and streamed into New York City to protest corporate greed, economic inequality, and of course, Wall Street's unchecked ability to forcefully bend over and repeatedly screw the rest of the 99% of pathetic, non-billionaire schlubs like you and me.

Well some people, like, say every Republican (and/or filthy rich banker, baron, magnate, mogul) to ever grace God's once-green, now oil-scorched Earth, don't much care for like-minded, progressive people putting down their soy, no-foam triple shot lattes and MacBook Pros to politely protest getting fleeced by the same mega-corporations they were forced to bail out, as a thank you for so generously causing the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.

Damn those hippie tree-huggers and their stupid whales!

It's one thing when it's heavily-armed old white sociopaths waving Nazi signs and shrieking about how giving health care to poor people and children is terrorism. But a diverse crowd of gross liberals peacefully gathering in public parks to speak out against corporate malfeasance and income equality? ARRRRGGGGHHHH, run for your lives, crazed mobs of madmen are coming to kill you!

In a speech to social conservatives at the Values Voters Summit, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor blasted the Wall Street protesters as "growing mobs" that are trying to divide the country. "Believe it or not, some in this town have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans."

But only when it's poor Americans versus rich Americans. Otherwise it is terrible class warfare and has no place in his United States of AmERICANTOR.

"I for one am increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying Wall Street and the other cities across the country."

Yes, that's right! "Growing mobs" are not angry throngs of obese white supremacists with Jesus Saves tees and Don't Tread On Me signs motor-scootering around small town America screaming about secession, while hoisting various Glock 19s and semi-automatic machine guns before NObama takes them all away because of Socialism.

Don't be ridiculous! They are nice educated folks joining with workers unions, teachers unions, and assorted other young-to-middle aged rabble-rousers to express their collective frustration at the abusive tactics and sheer recklessness of the nation's current financial system.

Even the usually meek, deer-in-headlights White House Press Secretary Jay Carney couldn't help but call out Mr. Cantor for being even more of a sniveling hypocritical pussy than usual.

"I sense a little hypocrisy unbound here--what we're seeing on the streets of New York is an expression of democracy. I think I remember how Mr. Cantor described protests of the tea party--I can't understand how one man's mob is another man's democracy."

Umm, what exactly do you not understand? Revolution is only acceptable when it's a bunch of fat old racists who don't want to pay their taxes or help sick kids not die, duh!

Delusional fast-food merchant and self-proclaimed "black walnut" Herman Cain understands these things, just like he understands what the Republicans are looking for in their next president is someone significantly less white than Obama.

From Mother Jones:

“I don’t have facts to back this up, but I happen to believe that these demonstrations are planned and orchestrated to distract from the failed policies of the Obama administration. Don’t blame Wall Street, don’t blame the big banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself!”

I don't have the facts to back this up, but Herman Cain is an asshole. I don't know much about any black walnuts, but he's certainly fuckin' nuts. 

So if I have this straight, the protests are a conspiracy by Obama to anger the very people with the money to actually fund his re-election campaign, but it is not a conspiracy that the only people actually doing okay in this broke, collapsing country are the handful of ultra-rich Wall Street titans currently being protested?

Of course, it must be the fault of the poor people! Damn poor people! Why can't they just get jobs like normal people, or at least a certain awesome Black Walnut?

Oh, right probably because the Occupy Wall Street protesters have already destroyed all the jobs! Just ask New York Mayor and billionaire everyman Michael Bloomberg.

"What they're trying to do is take the jobs away from people working in this city," the mayor declared in his harshest criticism of the three-week-old protest. "They're trying to take away the tax base we have because none of this is good for tourism."

So there you have it folks. Billionaire Mayor Says Wall Street Protesters Want To Destroy Jobs.

Which is kind of awkward. Guess nobody told him Jobs is already dead!

[image via Daily Kos]

John Boehner's Brain's Been So Fried From Barry's Star Power, He Doesn't Even Feel The Need To Try Anymore!

Oh look, 24 hours have passed since terrible Democrats voted in favor of financial reform, which means glowing orange House Minority Leader John Boehner should have endorsed some new, untenable policy in bad faith, umm, about twenty minutes ago at least!

And like the total boner he is, he did not disappoint. His brilliant idea, this time coming in the form of a moratorium on all new federal regulations for an entire year, for reals.

Here's how it all went down:

Earlier this week, the Senate voted 60-39 to pass Congress’s financial regulatory reform bill, which Obama will likely sign into law next week. The bill, which is a response to the economic crisis started in 2008, largely thanks to the bad behavior by the world's most powerful financial institutions, provides new safeguards and consumer protections so as to help the American public avoid once again being screwed over and thrust into destitution by said financial institutions.

So John Boehner did what any desperate Grand Old Puppet of Big Business/Wall Street would do and held an emergency meeting with business and trade lobbyists asking them what they would like him, their humble House minority servant, to do.

After emerging from this fab little session with fellow fab fashionista, fuchsia wearing Illinois Republican Aaron Schock and his homely, heterosexual, less fashionable compatriot Peter Roksam, John Boehner could hardly wait to tell the whole world "his" great idea to enact a moratorium on new federal regulations for a year, just like the lobbyists told him to do for like freedom 'n stuff. Apparently, they don't much care for NObama's terrible Socialist policies preventing them from continuing their thriving business of finding new and creative ways to screw the American people out of their hard-earned money, and if all goes well, their foreclosed homes, too. Yay!

House Minority Leader John A. Boehner on Friday endorsed a one-year moratorium on almost all new federal regulations, an idea he said would create jobs by ending uncertainty among businesses fearful of new federal mandates.

Boehner made the suggestion in the Capitol after a 90-minute session with a group of business leaders gathered as part of America Speaking Out, the House Republicans' effort to solicit ideas across the country for a fall campaign platform.

One of the participants at the roundtable raised the idea and Boehner said afterward, "Having a moratorium on new federal regulations is a great idea. It sends a wonderful signal to the private sector that they'll have some breathing room."

Phew! Because all these rules and regulations by lame-o NObama, protecting dumb schmucks like me and you, were really starting to make them feel all claustrophobic, almost as if they were no longer allowed to cause housing meltdowns, stock market collapses, or anything fun and reckless anymore. Nada!

Ugh, when will Barry the Terrible end his all-out war on all businesses everywhere, until our once-shining pillar of unbridled Capitalism has been completely pulverized, and is nothing but a skyscraper-less, sustenance based shadow of its former self?

Why can't we have more fearless, UV fried frauds of freedom like Major Boner to come up with awesome ant metaphors and hold secret lobbyist meetings to help protect the poor, poor investment bankers and oil conglomerates from having to pay so much as one measly penny for callously destroying an entire economy and ecosystem, respectively?

Thanks goodness, at least someone has the tangelos big enough to stand up and demand this terrible, consumer protecting legislation be repealed, this time even before it has actually been signed into law, which is like even better!

Ladies and gents, I give you House Minority Tanning Bed Salesman, John Boehner:

"I think it ought to be repealed. There are common sense things that you should do to plug the holes in the regulatory system that were there, and to bring more transparency to financial transactions, because transparency is like sunlight. Sunlight is the best disinfectant."

Oh warm, delicious, radiant sunlight! It is also like beautiful oxygen, and the ultimate panacea for all the world's ills including pasty white politicians with no spine and no principles, whose passion for delicious artificial, electrically-generated pigment darkening, cancer causing ultraviolet rays is matched only by his zealous commitment to showering even more toxic, cancerous policies all over the American people.

Because the only thing worse than getting burned by the Sun is getting burned by a sun-scorched Boner that's been cooked so many times, it's one Solar 3000 session from being sliced up, seasoned, and served with a side of dipping sauce, at the congressional cafeteria.

Mmmmm, a much tastier and more sensible use of the over-cooked, bone dry, orange-tinged, special slab of Grade-A meat.

The House's choicest cut!

The True Colors Of Massachusetts' Favorite Nudie Model $enator Scott "Birthday Suit" Brown

After holding up financial regulatory reform several times to umm, help make the bill more big-bank friendly and less common-citizen friendly like a good, real Republican, Scott Brown, the former Cosmo cover model turned faux teabagger turned Massachusetts Senator has finally agreed to stop being such a Grand Old Prick, and support the darn bill, instead of riding his big, oil guzzling pick up truck all over it for like the Constitution 'n stuff.

Which is great news!! Because now the bill's passage seems likely, or at least until the next big, Brown-like A-hole starts disingenuously whining about how beautiful business will suffer under the brutish hands of big, bad government, and the whole thing collapses once again.

Just like our nation's economy!

So, after taking his sweet behind time deciding whether it makes more sen$e for him to join the gross DEMONcrats to support a Wall Street reform bill (and risk biting the very hand that feeds him!) or stick with his own good-for-nothing, Grand Obstructionist Party and let the fat cats on Wall Street continue running roughshod all over the dumb schmucks on Main Street, Scott Brown has finally decided to do the right thing, and pretend to help his other, non-corpulent feline friends for a change, moving Democrats closer to the 60 votes they need to block another delightfully fun Republican filibuster for freedom.

Hooray!?

I've spent the past week reviewing the Wall Street reform bill. I appreciate the efforts to improve the bill, especially the removal of the $19 billion bank tax. As a result, it is a better bill than it was when this whole process started. While it isn't perfect, I expect to support the bill when it comes up for a vote. It includes safeguards to help prevent another financial meltdown, ensures that consumers are protected, and it is paid for without new taxes. That doesn't mean our work is done. Further reforms are still needed to address the government's role in the financial crisis, including significant changes to the way Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac operate.

But the best news is that thanks to my changes, it doesn't really safeguard anyone anymore, except of course the only ones who matter: my hot cosmo self and my corporate cronies' cash flow.

Bottom line is I've done my job vacillating back and forth, stalling the bill's passage until after the July 4 recess to make Democrats look even more pathetic & incompetent (trust me, they're quite capable on their own!), not to mention stripping (reminds me of my young bachelor days!) the legislation of all its consumer-protecting strength like a real freedom-fighting, Grand Old Patriot of the all-mighty greenback. Dolla dolla bills ya'll!

But why the sudden change of heart from Mr. Nudie Heartbreaker himself?

Perhaps the Democrats dangled a cookie in front of Scott, ya know, something to really entice him to join the dark side, and vote on behalf of actually regulating the mammoth industry that helped cause the crisis, while at the same time continues to profit off the fiscal misery by duping the dumb public into believing that Republicans actually give one red cent about them, or their foreclosed home.

Something really tempting, like promising his daughter a slot on America's Next Top Model, or if he gets the urge to bare all in another beautiful birthday suit photo, maybe even him too. Like a special father-daughter spread or something super sweet like that.

What can Brown do for you? Other than show his true chameleon-like colors by being too yellow to stand up to glowing orange minority leaders and the rest of the pale white Republican patriots, and continue blue-balling the Dems' finance bill to keep struggling Americans in the red, so long as the poor, poor banks finally get back into the black, all to protect his favoritest, most beautiful shade in the whole wide world. No, not nude, silly! His other favoritest color in the all the world, freshly minted green, baby!

Tastes so delicious and refreshing, it's well worth the bitter taste it leaves behind. But hey, at least it's something to put in your mouth, since affording actual food isn't really an option.

On the bright side, there's probably enough for one of Scott's namesake brown bags, though.

Because the only thing better than a free lunch is the illusion of one.

Woohoo! Steve Forbes And Rich America Rejoice Over The Death Of Robert Byrd & Hopefully Finance Reform Too!

Malcolm Stevenson "Steve" Forbes, Jr, aka Steve Forbes, the snooty, silver-spoon fed son of inherited wealth and former Republican Presidential candidate no one remembers (pssst: he wasn't that good!) is once again in the spotlight for being ummm, well, the petty, pampered heir of the famed Forbes publishing empire, and mouthpiece for all of Mega-Rich Corporate America. Yay?

Well, Mr. Moneybags Forbes over here is absolutely tickled pink (but not gross gay pink!) to hear the wonderful news that 150-year old ancient fossil and longest serving member in the history of Congress, West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd has finally kicked the ol' bucket. Phew! Dude was taking forever to die!

Because now that Byrd's ol' creaking bones are no longer around to ruin everything for everyone (or at least for those with billion dollar trust funds from daddy), America's fine banking institutions are once again free to screw over as many dumb, schmucky Americans as their cold, little hearts desire, without even having to worry about the big, bad government poking their stupid, consumer-protecting noses all over the place.

Hooray!

Steve Forbes is sooooooo ecstatic that Robert Byrd is dead that he just couldn't wait for the old man's body to turn cold before sharing the "good news" with all his fellow corporate billionaires, media moguls, Wall Street fat cats, and Grand Obstructionist Pals on his favoritest Twitter!

Yes, sir-ee, Forbes got his grave-dancing boots on and he's not ashamed to let the whole world know it! And not just because Steve's jealous that a dead 92-year-old Robert Byrd is still a more appealing, viable presidential candidate than he is, either!

Because now that Byrd is cooked (ha ha, sucker!), the prospects for financial reform may be buried with the ol' bastard too!

Mwwahahahahaha!

In fact, the only thing better than sayin' Bye Bye Byrdie would be if every other Democrat in the Senate also died, and maybe Scott Brown too, if Mr. Cosmo is even so much as thinking about voting in favor of regulating Wall Street.

They're perfectly capable of (not) doing that all by themselves, thank you very much!

Better stick to your other job wowing the ladies as a birthday suit coverboy, if you know what's good for you, Scotty!

And Steve Forbes will go back to his other job gleefully gettin' jiggy wit it on old men's graves in 140 thrilled characters or less, as Rich America's #1 classiest ghoul, and fearless defender of the only thing deader than Byrd's corpse, financial reform, and Forbes' flat tax:

His presidential chances, of course!

Besides, Steve's already done all the financial reforming America needs by wasting millions of dollars on his own two epically-failed presidential campaigns. For Freedom!

Or at least the freedom to be a complete douchebag and the sleaziest Grand Oil Puppet since Joe Barton, Joe Wilson, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, EVER!

Harry Reid's Dirty, Sexy Thoughts On Republicans' Dirty, Sexy, Money

Frustrated over the excruciatingly slow, molasses-like pace of financial reform in the Senate, courtesy of the Grand Obstructionist Party's reluctance to so much as even open debate (it only took three separate tries!) or move forward in any way, shape, or form (progress is evil!), sweet talkin' senate majority leader "Dirty" Harry Reid blasted the trick-turnin' Republicans for refusing to stop whoring themselves out to the big pimpin' high rollers on Wall Street, like one of Spitzer's many favorite high-class call girls.

Citing weeks-long talks between top negotiators Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) and Richard Shelby (R-Ala.) going nowhere, as well as the not one, not two, but three procedural votes needed to even open debate, as evidence of the Republicans' reluctance to move forward on the legislation, Reid slammed the corner-hustling street walkers comprising the Republican Party.

Guess even a meek ol' Mormon like Harry has a breaking point.

"The Republicans are having difficulty determining how they're going to continue making love to Wall Street," Reid said. "It's obvious that they do not want to put any decent restrictions on what Wall Street has done or are doing."

And why, on God's Green (for now) Earth, would they either? No one knows how to give 'em the full body rubdown quite like the strong, able hands of Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse (with their exotic oils and blends, and those smooth European hands!).

Besides, the only other hands with the sweet touch the GOP craves was already booked by minister George Alan Rekers, who needed some sweet man handlin' himself while off pretending to be straight in Europe and Bermuda, with the hot piece of man tail he hired on a gay escort service site.

But not everyone, especially those the comments were specifically directed at, appreciates the sexytime thoughts of an old Mormon senator from Nevada.

"Considering Nevada's unemployment stands at 13%, Senator Reid would be well-advised to get his mind off sex and onto getting America's economy back on track," National Republican Senatorial Committee Communications Director Brian Walsh said.

Like a certain responsible, lesbian-bondage club thumpin' RNC Chairman, Michael "Balls Of" Steele?

But Harry don't care 'bout what lies those greedy ho's be pushin' on the American peeps, and is standing (firmly) by his comments.

Asked for clarification, Reid's spokesman Jim Manley said, "What can I say? It's true. Republicans are making love to Wall Street while Main Street is getting screwed.”

Ooooh, sounds sexy!

Now, that's not completely fair. I mean, if Main Street didn't want it so bad, how come they're always begging for it, with their low-cut tank tops, and black, lace-up, f**k-me boots?

Ugh, those mom 'n pop sluts on Main Street!

Either way, a Republican-version of a new Wall Street reform bill was voted down 38-61 on Thursday, with two Republicans joining all 59 Democrats to blue-ball the GOP's so-called consumer-protection bill, which President Obama blasted as "worse than the status quo."

"I will not allow amendments like this one written by Wall Street's lobbyists to pass for reform," Obama said.

But, Deputy Treasury Secretary Neal Wolin called talk of a possible veto "premature."

No doubt, a criticism the Grand Old Party of impotent white men have heard on more than one occasion.

"We're just trying to make sure consumers have the tools and information to make sensible choices with their financial resources," said Sen. Jack Reed (D-R.I.). "But unfortunately, it appears the other side of the aisle wants to make it appear they are strengthening consumer protection when they are really not doing much but just enforcing the status quo."

You mean like pretending they're packing more than just a semi-automatic 9mm Glock in their pants?

"We're doing this to provide a more rational and constructive alternative to what our Democratic colleagues are trying to slip by the American people," Sen. Richard Shelby said.

Ummm, don't you mean slip in the American people, Senator?

"It will create a massive new bureaucracy whose power and autonomy has no current equivalent to anywhere in the federal government. It can do whatever it wants, whenever it wants without any supervision or real check on its authority."

Just how the GOP likes it!

Huge, rough, insatiable, unprotected, and forced to take whatever Big Daddy shoves in their gagged-and-bound, leather mask-covered face.

"Alternatives that gut consumer protections and do nothing to empower the American people by cracking down on unfair and predatory practices are unacceptable, and I urge the Senate to vote no on weakening consumer protections and instead stand with the American people," President Obama said.

Only if you get down on both knees and beg. But you might want to steer clear of the words "urge" and "predatory."

Otherwise, they could be (mis)construed as something waaaaaay different than Wall Street reform.

Like say a Republican donor meeting, or something perverted like that.

GOP Bands Together To Form Wall Of "No" To Preserve Their Favorite Wall Of "Ye$"

Oh No, Not Again!

New "bipartisan" financial legislation, supported by the vast majority of poor, hardworking losers like you and me, to help reign in Wall Street and put an end to not-at-all-selfish, bad-mortgage derivatives and other "fun" number games used by major banks to bet against their own investors, and screw over the rest of us Main Street schlubs, has been unanimously blocked by shrewd Republicans for the second straight day.

A very reasonable and politically tenable position, given the soaring popularity of massive, publicly bailed out banks, billionaire brokers, Wall Street fat cats, and big business these days, one that will likely lead to massive gains for the GOP in November's congressional elections.

Similar to the massive gains felt by most of the public, courtesy of Wall Street's very patriotic, likely illegal, get-rich-quick schemes to rake in billions in profits by duping the dumb American people out of their (now worthless) homes.

Hooray for Capitalism!

Of course, it makes perfect $ense for the Grand Old Party of rich, white men to block even simple debate on a publicly-popular bill to at least monitor said rich, white men because if that happens, how will they continue enabling some of Wall Street's most deviant practices (like robbing the poor and giving to the rich) in order to fatten their wallets and keep the campaign coffers stuffed to the brim with cold, hard corporate cash?

"The Senate voted 57-41 on a procedural measure allowing lawmakers to move toward debate on financial regulatory overhaul legislation, falling short of the 60 votes needed. All GOP senators present voted against invoking cloture, joined by at least one Democrat, Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE)."

Hmmm, Ben Nelson. Sounds so familiar, where have I heard that name before?

Ohhhhh right! That Ben Nelson, the same insufferable pro-life fetus whore who also voted no on beginning the whole health care reform debate because he likes to see poor people suffer (so long as their not in Nebraska), and now has to keep up his esteemed image as a greedy, selfish, grumpy pants, (corn)flake, who must now do whatever the Republicans tell him ever since his notorious about-face, joining his fellow Democrats to vote in favor of affordable, quality health care, automatic death-by-shovel sentences for Granny and baby Trig, and mandatory abortions for every fifth Republican senator, forever.

Oh, the beauty of Democracy!

But despite failing to open debate on Wall Street reform for the second consecutive day, the rascally Democrats vowed to remain on the offensive, charging that the GOP's latest obstruction of even simple debate on the legislation, puts them squarely on the side of Wall Street and against the will of the people.

What, what, what!? Republicans against the will of the people?? Surely, you jest with such blasphemy!

Not this Dirty Harry, who, while speaking on the Senate floor, said the vote "reveals who believes we need to strengthen oversight of Wall Street, and who does not [and] forces each Senator to publicly proclaim whether party unity is more important than economic security."

And the problem with that is?

"The Senate is a body where we proceed to legislation and then offer amendments and then debate takes place," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said. "But the Republicans have set a new standard, and that is they want to negotiate. Negotiate—that is the new banner. I wonder when the end of the negotiation takes place?"

Ummm, when the Democrats stop being little pussies, too afraid of their own scary majority status, and the GOP stops being greedy a**holes?

In other words, never.

"They're claiming that only a fully negotiated and agreed-upon bill can come up for debate. That is absurd, stunning, unheard of. They want all the details to be worked out beforehand behind closed doors, not in the view of the public," Reid said. "That's unprecedented in the more than 200 years we've been a Senate."

Oh, Harry, you're not that old!

What's so hard to understand here, anyway? The GOP simply doesn't care for bills that are made "behind closed doors," "open doors," or "any doors," for that matter, when it has to do with health care reform, financial reform, or any positive, Democrat-led reform that actually tries to help the American people not get screwed more times than Bristol Palin at the Wasilla high school prom.

In the end, this all means nothing really, because no matter what, Republicans will continue to find some terrible reason, excuse, or worst case scenario, just make up some lies, about how there's no way, come hell or high water, the dirty, no-good Soviet DEMONcrats will ever pass this elitist, COMMIE legislation to regulate Wall Street, and ruin America on their watch.

Their platinum and gold, diamond encrusted, special edition Rolex watch, that is. A gift of gratitude from their very generous, very powerful, very FAT friends of the feline variety.

Obama Uses Air Force Photo Op As Fun Excuse To Terrorize Wall Street

Well, well if it isn't Barack Obama once again terrorizing the good people of this country--including his favorite target, the innocent lambs on Wall Street.

This time, it wasn't his usual arsenal of executive pay caps, increased government oversight, and sensible tax policies that sent New Yorkers into a tizzy, but something far, far more sinister: the perfect Air Force One photo op!

Now, President Obama wasn't actually on the plane (he was in Washington at the time) and was not even informed in advance of Air Force One's low-altitude joy ride over New York harbor, which caused terrified Wall Street workers to flee buildings and run screaming into the streets for something other than the latest Dow Jones Industrial average.

But that didn't stop President Obama, who was also apparently furious about the incident, from apologizing and ordering an immediate review of the little publicity stunt that cost taxpayers $328,835 and caused a furor in the otherwise tranquil pastures of New York’s financial district.

“It was a mistake,” Obama said. “It will not happen again.”

God damn right it won't. Because John McCain is on it, my friends! And an apology and acceptance of responsibility from White House Military Office director Louis Caldera just ain't gonna cut it.

It doesn't matter that federal officials “took the proper steps to notify state and local authorities in New York and New Jersey" who then apparently forgot to share the information with Mayor Bloomberg.

What matters to Mr. McCain is that "the disruption and panic caused by the flight should have been foreseeable."

To think, if only Obama had even a fraction of the foresight the man who gave us Sarah Palin has, this whole mess could have been avoided altogether. Just imagine where we'd be then!

Between Barack And A Hard Place

Well well what do you know? While President Obama was busy destroying America's robust economy with his socialist policies and spendulus bills, there was one force brave enough to stand up against this liberal assault on freedom.

And we don't mean by throwing some ridiculous Rick Santelli tea party with the rest of your Fox News loving friends.

We mean by taking decisive action. Like the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunging 25% in the two months since inauguration to protest Comrade Barry's all-out assualt on Wall Street.

Included in his guerrilla war on investors, bankers and other persecuted members of the business elite is billions and billions of government bailout dollars to rescue these innocent victims from the seductive but toxic cocktail of unchecked power and unbridled greed.

As if that weren't punishment enough, Barack Obama wants higher taxes for the wealthy, pay caps for bankrupt millionaire execs using taxpayer bailout funds, and increased oversight of banks, investment firms and all other Madoffy sounding institutions with the words hedge, equity, mortgage or fund in their name.

But perhaps most threatening is Mr. common man Obama's new mortgage plan to help not just the poor, suffering lenders but the millions of struggling homeowners in danger of losing their homes.

Ugh those losers?!?

What happened to the good old days when you're only rewarded for risky, irresponsible behavior if you make over $250,000 a year, and/or have presided over the complete collapse of at least one major U.S. corporation?

Reluctant Hero Rick Santelli Accepts Your Challenge, America!

Obama Vs. Santelli: Round ?

It's on!

When CNBC reporter Rick Santelli went off on his wild rant about how Obama's mortgage bailout plan forces good, hardworking Americans like himself to pay for other people's irresponsible mistakes, he didn't think much of it. He was just speaking from the heart.

Sure it crossed his mind that a reporter coming slightly unhinged on network television might cause some buzz, but he never thought he would be thrust into the limelight as the voice of opposition to Barack Obama's "bad behavior bailout."

But, much like Joe the Plumber before him, Rick the Reporter is finding his 15 minutes of fame too intoxicating to let go.

So the reluctant new Robin Hood is taking his one-man act on the road, hitting the airwaves to explain how he and his family are being terrorized by Obama's White House just because he believes in fiscal responsibility and not giving handouts to every pathetic sap who can't pay his mortgage.

Maybe the White House is so threatened by Santelli because they know former derivative traders and Wall Street loud-mouths who become the poster child for responsible spending have such credibility with the American public right now.

Particularly those whose day-to-day reality consists of reporting from a trading pit with a bunch of sweaty guys who make more money every time they squawk than the value of all the nation's toxic mortgages combined.

Are You Ready For Rick?