In a shock to no one, fat sack of pill-popping, hate spewing sh*t, Rush Limbaugh was rushed (ha ha rushed) to a hospital after suffering chest pains in what will likely NOT be the last, dying gasps of an evil and overworked heart.
"Rush was admitted to and is resting comfortably in a Honolulu hospital today after suffering chest pains," Limbaugh's spokesman said in a statement. "Rush appreciates your prayers and well wishes and will keep you updated via rushlimbaugh.com and on his radio program."
So until further notice, yes, 58-year-old failed NFL owner and right wing godfather of radio waves for racists, Rush Limbaugh is in "serious condition" at a Hawaii hospital, where he is resting comfortably and laughing at all the pathetic povs who can't afford to pay their way out of obesity and drug related heart problems.
Ha ha losers.
Either way, all death jokes will be saved until Rush goes and earns them the old-fashioned way.
Happy New Year!